Sometimes the problem is that you look at it as a problem. We, a normal person with a truckload of "problems", choose to perceive things the way it would hurt us rather than help us because believe it or not, it gets us attention. It isn't necessary as to what extent is your problem troublesome. Even the smallest of things such as you not being able to watch your favorite game is troublesome. We as humans entitle ourselves to getting attention but won't pay the same to others when its time to reciprocate. Right from the time we started to realize what stress is, we have been nurtured to either suppress it or use it to get attention. Never have I ever seen people actually dealing with it. Now this might just be one of the many aspects of stress relief. It is soothing to know that something as petty as just getting attention can help go through so much. It elevates the possibility of a person to bust out of his own mind caged by toxicity or thoughts provoking what might be the worst scenarios one can be in.
The whole point of making friends and having a relationship with other people is to not be alone when we feel like not being able to making it through to the other side. Agreed that there are people who would stand with you, walk together, help you get up when you fall, remove the obstacles from your way, stay in the darkness even when it isn't theirs to be in and do all of this when they are not even slightly related or indulged in the whole scenario. These people are the ones who have stopped expecting anything. People tend to forget this very person when they come out of their problems along with the lesson that even they can help someone get through their bad times. The one to have experienced this very thing of helping people through and not expecting anything in return can confidently tell that the only thing to be feared is to be replaced when you try to request the same from the person you helped.
Zero expectations are a hundred percent guarantee of zero disappointments. Simply put, when you expect nothing out of something, you have got no hopes to lose anything and hence you don't get disappointed with whatever the results and consequences are. The other side of the scenario is there are even more people who talk about being there for you when needed, helping you out of situations, etc. People you thought would be with you in times when you need attention the most suddenly disappear. They would carelessly consider going back to the people because of whom they were in that situation in the first place rather than being there to at least tell you they are there let alone help you out of the situation. People wait for the worst to happen and when it actually happens they come out all sad pretending they did not want it to happen while they could have actually prevented it from happening. There are people who even after knowing that their friend had hit rock bottom continued to blame them for not being available for them. It isn't the thoughts or the situations that lead to people thinking of committing suicide, it is actually friends like these who give birth to these thoughts and situations.
All we ever need is a bit of attention at the very least. We as friends fail to understand the very importance of what a little support is capable of and we run along on social media to make people acknowledge us as one of those who are willing to help. A big salute to those who craved for attention when on the verge of giving up on everything and still pulled through all alone. And to the others don't go that far, start from your family first. Not a single one of us have any idea of what our parents, siblings and other relatives have been through and are going through and we preach about helping others.
'Everyone has there demons', it is said. What actually do we mean by demons? Are they the negative side of our conscience or our mistakes or our fears or just the fact that we are all alone even when we have people existing around us? It makes me wonder why do people feel alone? These are a lot of questions to be dealt with in a single blow. But each of them are totally individualistic when it comes to being effective. People fear being used and replaced by the very people who they thought would stay for the longest. As a matter of fact, that's what has been happening each and everytime. You fear a thing the most when it keeps happening to you again and again. Eventually you give up on the very existence of that fact because it is habitually irreplaceable. These demons aren't what we think of them to be. They are our insecurities. Ones which we fail to overcome, which are meant to be there. If you consider your issues to be of more importance than any other and put them before anyone else then you have a very good instinct and experience to deal and help others deal with things. It is completely normal to tend to our wounds and insecurities first and not selfish at all. If you are capable of shouldering your own perspective towards a better result, you should do that first. 1 is always better than 0.
It is very difficult to move on from the fact that you have been replaced. What is even more intimidating is that you have not been acknowledged the slightest for putting your issues aside and tending to that of your friends. There's nothing wrong in seeking attention especially when you deserve it. This is the very reason we need to fix ourselves first and then try to get the attention we deserve because then we won't feel as much dejected as when we keep ourselves unfixed. Wise are those who are capable of analyzing themselves and contemplating a way to put themselves above other things. Plain and simple, you wouldn't be able to enjoy anything if you aren't up and alive.
Friends with whom you used to be together the whole time and talk all day but are very less connected with nowadays because they found someone else, friends who are just replying to you because you are initiating a conversation, friends who went back to those people about whom they kept complaining, friends who talk to you because they don't have any one else to talk to at that moment, friends who ignore your existence as soon as you help them achieve what they wanted or get back with someone they wanted, family members who just know you to be useful whenever they feel like, elders who find you to be of no importance even when you have been putting in efforts for their cause, partners with whom you have no will to keep a relation with but can't imagine them not being around, people who feel like making you happy but are just being a formality and many more. This is what induces toxicity in our minds. We stick to them because they are paying attention to us or at least we think it to be so. Don't wait till you lose yourself and then regret. Let them go if their being around makes you lose yourself. Similarly, don't wait till you lose someone very close to you. Approach them even when they are happy because one thing all of us are extremely good at is pretending.
Sometimes the problem is that you look at it as a problem. Just turn your head a little bit to either direction, change your perspective. You'll then come to know the world isn't what you have been seeing. It is way more than that. You don't have to wait for something, good or worst, to happen to initiate a process. Do it because you like it or need it. That is reason enough for kickstarting anything, especially when it makes you a better person. Give yourself the attention you are seeking from those who don't acknowledge your existence or pretend to acknowledge. Once you start doing that it will help you see and realize how deep other people are in their struggles. If you can't care about yourselves, you can never care about people you are close to and the world in furtherance. No one else can do for you what you can do for yourselves. Realize that you probably won't ever get another chance at life. It is one way.
Comments
Post a Comment